Healing All the While

It was said that when He heard of a friend's death, the Lord broke down and wept. Be not afraid of sadness, nor try to completely be free of it. Though painful, it is one of the ways to know that we are not too far gone to feel. The patient whose injured leg has lost all feeling has no pain, but this is the worst of all possible signs. Better to have pain and know the leg is still active and alive and capable of sensing the outside world. The man who is completely without sadness may be much worse off than the one who daily grapples with depression. This is not to say that the Lord wants us to live in sadness or misery, any more than the physician desires his patient to feel pain. But we should always be able to experience both. This basic human emotion, this sadness, may prove to be a symptom that we are actually getting better all the time. Only the Great Doctor knows for certain.

True Joys

Being what we are, all because of Him and of Him, how could we be seperated from God and not eventually wither and die? Is this not the essence of Hell- not necessarily eternal punishment but more a kind of "left behind" or "turned over to our own devices"? On the other hand, how can we be finally united with Him and not have everything our hearts have ever wanted, needed, loved, lost, forgotten, wished for, longed for, imagined and not imagined? The thing that may surprise you is that all of those wonderful things we were longing for all of our life were only shadows of something better- the one real thing. The candy we remember so fondly from childhood was probably special because we really loved being a child. Childhood seems so fond to us because of innocence and purity and time. All those things we really, truly wish for must be peeled away like an onion, layer by layer, moment by moment- until we arrive at the core, and find what the true joy was. I suspect that all good things, all the best things, will lead you back to Him in the end.

In All Things

In all the things that trouble you, in all things that seem out of reach, in all the things that appear most unfixable to you, turn it over to Him. For in His hands nothing is too troublesome. Nothing is out of reach, and all the breakables can be made new again. Be forewarned, however- you may end up getting more than you ever thought of asking for. Some things we bring to him to be repaired are made so fresh and new that we barely recognize them anymore. That dingy old watch never shined so bright or worked so well. Surely this is not the same one I brought in to be repaired? The heart that is irrevocably broken now seems larger and healthier and more able to give than it ever was before the tragedy. Don't bother trying to return it and find the one you brought in. It sometimes works just this way when He touches things. All the good, lasting, beautiful qualities are finally revealed for us to see. We asked for a better cardboard box when He had in mind for us a mansion.

Only for a Season

There are reasons that we feel we belong in certain situations, that things come together almost perfectly for a little while- that strangely, we finally find ourselves fitting into a place like a missing puzzle piece right where we belong. It rarely lasts, however. I think you'll notice that eventually, in time, things will change and the time will pass. But why? Was it all an illusion? I think that God brings us to certain places for a while (exactly where He wants us to be), and it is right where we belong for that moment. But then we get new orders and it's off for deployment in some other faraway land. A few of the unwise ones will disregard this and stay where they are, assuming wrongly that they will go on fitting in there forever. They will get into a rut and not understand why things have "gone downhill so much", or "this place has really changed". What it is that has changed is where He now wants you. Don't expect anything perfect to last here. Remember, we were not made to stay in this land forever. The young boy in boot camp might find a great comfort in the friends he makes while training, but that doesn't mean he was meant to train forever. There are always greater things. He would have nothing less for us. And so it goes . . .

The Worst and the Best

Sometimes it is necessary to show us just how terrible we can truly be when left to our own tendencies. The times when we took the easy way out and joined the crowd, rather than risking our ego and siding with those who are lonely. The moments when we gave rise to our forked tongues just to be admired, when we might have said a kind word or two and risked being labeled an outsider. We might have even remained silent, but we joined in and piled on, and we felt like we belonged- for a while. There is seldom excuses for such things, and I have none to give (and I suspect that He would accept none of our flimsy excuses anyway). I only know that it is in these moments- these shameful, prideful, inexcusable moments- that I am suddenly aware of how intently I need Him, and how little of His forgiveness I could ever begin to earn. If our own sense of duty doesn't bring us to our knees, then seeing what we are without Him in our worst moments surely will.

Hearing Aides

I do not think God is angry with us for questioning. Those of us who are honest with ourselves have more than a few moments where we might ponder whether or not it's all true. If we have in our hearts, however, a desire for truth, He will fill it . . . in time. Those in need are in the best position to receive. The problem comes when we ceaselessly question, and allow no room for the answer. We are like a starving man on the street walking around with an empty plate, covering it with his hands where it can never be filled with food. A question may be fair and honest, but what of the questioner who will not have it answered? No, we must take time: in private, in silences, in prayer, even in reading the word. In short, we must first learn to hear His voice before an answer can ever be thought about. Of course, He has all the time in the world for us to finally learn.