Transcripts

In the Bible, what we have are transcripts of messages from the Lord, taken by men who often spent most of their lives in quiet, silent, meditative prayer. While no doubt these men brought with them their own biases, feelings, concerns, even prejudices of the day, this is not a reason to simply discount it. They were closer in tune than we are, and wrote what they heard from the heart. Personally, I believe it is probably the most accurate guide we have as to what God is like, what He expects, and what we are to do. The problem today is that we haven't taken the time to listen to his voice. There is too much static- too much in the way: ego, life concerns, technology-at-every-moment, sin, self, and an assortment of other problems that keep us from fully tuning in. Like a bad radio signal, we can just barely decipher a voice- a personality, speaking through fuzz and hiss. If you have ever tried to listen to a speech or a bit of news, or even a game on the radio station that wasn't coming in very well, you know what I mean. At first, it is impossible to decipher. You hear a few key words, then static, then a few more. If it's something you really want to hear, and you keep listening diligently, you'll find something else begins to happen. The jumbled parts become clearer, you find that you know what is going on and being said- even if you miss a few words here and there, you can generally keep up. This is because our mind craves patterns, and will in time put the puzzle pieces together as we listen. I think it is the same thing with His voice. Our spirit, much like the mind, craves patterns from Him. The more you focus, the more you listen in quiet with an open heart, the more you will hear. Most of us can't get beyond our own personal prayers, our own concerns, what we want, what we think we need- to just stop, sit and listen. A few get irritated with the static and will quickly move on to a clearer station- after all, there are so many out there that are easier to hear. But for the few who stay to listen, to wait for the static to lift or to clear, we may find a message that will change our lives forever.

Week 4 Reflection in the Classroom (3rd Grade)

Week 4 was a very eventful week at Jones Elementary. All of the teachers had to go to an hour long conference on Monday, so I got to go over a chapter with the class for their social studies lesson. They were reading about the branches of government and the balancing of powers in Washington. After going over some of the information, I asked them why they thought it was not a good idea to have one branch, or even one person, be in control of everything. What did they think might happen? For a few moments, the students sat quiet, then responses began pouring in: “one person might make a law that was unfair” came from a bright boy at the back of the room. A girl up front mentioned a concern: “what if they made all girls not be able to go outside?" I pointed out that in many countries, women don’t have as many rights as men for this very reason. It also might lead to total control by one person, called a “dictator”. Many already knew this term and mentioned Hitler as being a dangerous type of figure. Later, in a section on the Supreme Court building, they looked at pictures comparing it with Greek architecture and ruins, quickly seeing many of the similarities such as the large columns we use in many of our high ranking buildings today.

I had planned on teaching my first Geometry lesson on Wednesday afternoon on the different types of triangles, but there were some schedule changes, so I just decided to come in on Friday to teach it since I have no classes on that day. It turned out to be a tremendous learning experience. My lesson involved introducing an assortment of triangles and having the children make many of these on geoboards that Ms. Spake had provided. Too add depth to the discussion, and also to provide a link to prior knowledge and real life learning, I brought in a collage of many ordinary, everyday items that contained triangles. These included pictures of a sailboat, the top of a house, a mountaintop, slices of pie, tortilla chips and others. What I had not planned for was the transition time between discussing the topic and actually implementing the lesson. Passing out the geoboards, and then the rubber bands to use on them, I found that I truly had planned poorly for all of the time this seemed to take. In my mind beforehand, of course, it was pictured as flowing easily, but the kids were restless and continually seemed to be getting off task. Although they did seem to get a great deal from my instruction on triangles and making them on the boards, I felt it could have went much smoother. Luckily, Ms. Spake gave great feedback to me about the things that worked, the things that could be changed as well as steps to modify. Rather than having them each do their own triangles and being on different pages from each other, it would have been better to go through it slowly and methodically, step by step with them. They could all construct one triangle and hold it up for me to see before we moved on as a class. Since the next group would be coming in for Geometry, she asked if I would teach the lesson again to them. Agreeing to this, I found myself going through it a second time: only now, things seemed to flow much better. I took time to let the students describe triangles they see every day, asked them to point out ones they saw in the classroom, and went through each type of triangle thoroughly. Students were heavily involved this time, even coming up to the geoboard showing me how a right triangle could be “flipped”, and still be a right triangle. I found that my confidence had gained a bit since last time, and my more relaxed attitude permeated the class and the rest of my lesson. Generally, they all stayed on task with every item I had them do, and the difference was like night and day. After they went on to music, Ms. Spake went over the points of my lesson with me. She told me that often, teaching a lesson a second time will give you the needed room to improve on things that didn’t work, and can also cement in the things that did. Later, she had to leave for about thirty minutes and I was in the room with her parapro teacher. The students were working on their math sheets and I happened to notice that one girl was mumbling something to herself as she worked. It turns out that it was one of the concepts I had taught them to help them remember the name for an isosceles triangle: “I see two sides that are the same, like my two eyes, isosceles.” It was really amazing how seemingly small, insignificant changes can make a world of difference in a lesson. In everything we do, we always learn and evolve. As C.S. Lewis once said, “Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn . . . my God, you learn.”

Less- and More

This same God that created the heavens and the earth and everything in it and outside of it, even time itself, has- most thankfully- a very real personality. This is one area where Christianity parts ways with many other worldly belief systems. They refer to God as a "force"- or perhaps mere "energy". While I can't deny any of that as fact, it immediately strikes me as sort of a half-description, and a rather poor one at that. It's like saying that your mother or your father is "a mass of cells" or "brain matter". You might as well describe a Picasso painting as "colors", or a book of Shakespeare as "word symbols". While all of these descriptors may be true, they are somehow pitifully inaccurate ways of explaining what I like to call the Real Thing. Clearly the person who calls your loved one "a mass of cells" may in fact be scientifically accurate, but it tells me right away that they never really knew them.

Uncommon Blessings

I'm finding myself changing- each day becoming more and more open with others, more willing to "wear my heart on my sleeve", to say and do things that before I either wouldn't have taken the time to do or never would have even thought about. Like the young boy learning to write, I may have finally started crossing my "t"'s per'se- the Great Teacher, in His infinite wisdom, allowed me to fail and flounder in my own horrible choices long enough to learn what happens when I rely solely on myself. My focus is improving, my strenth is growing, and finally, after 37 some-odd years, I'm beginning to see clearly for the first time. I see miracles in situations that before would have seemed mundane, or even tiresome. The biggest change is in the way that I see people- they are becoming of utmost concern to me, the urge to help, to heal, to comfort, to connect is almost staggering - was it always there? Did I simply never notice? I'm also noticing that the more I open myself to others, the more they are opening to me: even ones that I thought I was already open with- there are new discoveries, bright and wonderful each day. And here's the best thing- the wondrous discoveries are not in myself, but in others. All this time, for all these years, I have been completely surrounded by the greatest of uncommon blessings. It's just that now I've finally begun to notice . . .

The Door

The thing that you fear the most, the thing you avoid and go around at all costs, that one thing you just really don't want to deal with- this same thing will be the door that opens you to a better life. Having the courage to finally go through it is the key, and it will make all the difference.

Lights

When you're gone, no one will ever say that you loved too much, that you cared wrecklessly for your fellow man, that you spent too much time with family and friends, that you shouldn't have helped and laughed quite so much. These are the things that will last forever in the souls of all you touched. They won't remember if you wore the latest fashion, if you knew how to spin things to make yourself look good, if you were quick witted and sarcastic, but hollow- for these are things that burn bright for a second or two, and then fade away like a shooting star. The good things stay fixed, like the eternal lights in the sky that burn on for centuries.

Learning Curve

My, God- sometimes I think that I will never learn. Just when I think I've got it all figured out, that I'm well on my way to excellence, that I'm doing and saying all of the right things, it is just then that He pulls the rug out from under me. It's not anything malicious, but it was clear as crystal. You see, when we think we're moving in the right direction, the focus becomes more on ourselves and less and less on others and, unfortunately, the Lord. This is exactly the opposite way that it should have been. In just a few days or weeks, we put Him slowly on the back burner of our lives- oh, we say a prayer of course, but do we realize that nothing else in life or the world is going to matter if He is not in it, of it, and within it always? His voice came very strong to me today, as I sat in class thinking of all that had to be done and many other stresses, His voice came like a whisper, but one I've slowly begun to recognize: "there must be less and less of you and more of others . . . and Me. Put me first, and all other things will work themselves out in due time. Then your sights will be clear and paths will be straight." I suspect all of our stresses and concerns, problems and difficulties, even the ones you think are slight and unimportant, could begin to be repaired if He became the sole focus. Like the boy who couldn't learn to swim because he was so concentrated on the fact that he might NOT be able to, we are centered on the wrong things. Thankfully, He provides a learning curve- especially as you get closer to Him: the thoughts you would have brushed away and kept worrying, now warrant a closer look. You are developing wisdom, because you are beginning to listen. As C.S. Lewis once said, "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."

Elusive Joys

There is a reason our Lord said that it’s better to give than to receive- it’s because it is true. In the end, givers are satisfied that they have provided for others and leave life with very few regrets. Takers never know such joy. Their entire life is spent childishly taking and wanting more, never realizing that life is meant to work in the reverse. I’m afraid that in the end most of them would give away all that they have ever gotten for just one moment of contentment, of purpose, of hope, of joy. And even then, seeking and wanting these things, they still fail to see that they can now never have them, because they have never given them.

Prophecy Foretold

In time or out of time
Why do those sorrowful, hopeful, melodious notes
Seem to play on every chord of my soul?
A song comes on, and then the strings begin
I know not what it is about them, is it prophecy?
Is it a lost, by-gone dream? A shadow of a previous life?
Is it an orchestra that lives within my heart or just an illusion
He seems to live in those notes, you know the ones-
Those ones that make you catch your breath, but you don't know why;
Every note seems to line up for only a moment or two, then
just as quickly gone- like a breeze that touched your face, then disappeared
All at once you are sad, hopeful, longing- for something else, somewhere else
Another time, one long since past . . . yet here within your heart, longing
Is it nostalgia, or maybe something more? Perhaps I'll never know
Just play the song again, any song- as long as I can feel the notes again
Maybe one day it will make sense, the notes were guiding me elsewhere
Into the clean, new, brightness of his sun- sunset and sunrise together
Youth that never ends, notes that finally reached my very soul
It was, all the while, a prophecy foretold

Ghosts, Spirits, & Other Ways Home

If we are to believe in the presence of ghosts at all (and I think that I do), it should be a cautionary belief, for what we are dealing with is truly beyond our rational explanations. Here we have presences that have clearly not moved on, for probably a host of reasons. I suspect that a great many are like students who were on their way to school and turned wrong- got off track, possibly for hundreds of years of our time, ignoring the regular route and choosing to go their own way (it seems we may still be blessed and curse with free choice, even after death for a time). They may have changed their course for what seemed to them to be good reasons: perhaps a sick relative, a feeling of things unfinished, an overly concerned heart for a loved one or a real attachment to a paticular place. There are also others who have undoubtedly remained for selfish reasons, refusing to do what they should because there may be advantages of staying here (so they believe) - or perhaps they know that certain punishment awaits and are playing a game of "spiritual hookey" for a while, surviving on the energy of the living people around them- on fear, on regret, but probably primarily negative energy (positive energy would be a certain trip home). Whatever the reasons, the fact that they are here is probably more tragedy than adventure, in every sense of the word. The idea of the ghost who lives forever happily haunting people with playful goodwill is more than likely a human invention. They must, eventually, find their way home- as we all must do. Perhaps they are the ones who Christ spoke of, as being called back at the time of the end- the Great Reckoning of all spirits "living and dead". All of this is my own theories, and it is not necessary to believe any of it- the Bible is quite silent on these matters, for it is a book written for the living, not the dead. The truly regrettable thing is the living man, walking about his life as though a ghost- never reaching out or touching any other soul. They may be in a far worse predicament than our lost, ghostly travelers.

Taking the Time

Talking with the students, asking them questions, getting their actual opinions on things, sitting down with them a few minutes throughout the day to see how things are going, listening to them and finding out what they are interested in . . . the key is to try and take the time to get to know the kids in your classroom. What are they interested in? How do they learn best? What's their background? Elementary grades children are still very open and honest for the most part, and generally want to talk about themselves, their likes and dislikes, their concerns, and their hopes and fears. This single act- this getting to know each student on a personal level, should never be seen as wasted time. Even if it takes a few moments away from a lesson, the fact that you cared enough to inquire about them may just put you and the entire class miles ahead of where you might have been had you simply flown in and started teaching without building any relationships. Students that respect you, that know you care about them and their lives, will perform in the classroom for you, particularly in the elementary grades (but even, I suspect, later on as well). The field that you planted and toiled and took the time to do the smallest of things with care and concern, will reap for you abundantly in the long run. Your class will come back to you wanting to learn, to please, to grow - simply because you took the time, possibly just a few moments in your day. What is left will be children overflowing with possibility, and for the teacher . . . unlimited returns.

Reflections of a Third Grade Classroom

The first week in the school at Bremen (H.A. Jones Elementary) went very well. My first day in Mrs. Strickland’s classroom was very exciting, as the mayor of Bremen was coming in to speak to the entire third grade class and take questions from the students. Basically the entire third grade hall ended up in Mrs. Strickland’s room, where the mayor sat and began a small but interesting discussion. Some of the things that the children asked were very thought provoking, and tied into what they were already studying about local and city government. I liked the way they tied all this in to lessons that were currently being taught, it really seemed to bring what they were learning home in a real-world perspective. On a humorous note, the teachers went over a few things before the mayor got there, such as what questions were appropriate and which ones were not. They told them not to ask her age or whether she was married or had children. Naturally the first question asked by a young boy was, “Ms. Sewell, how old are you? Do you feel old?” All of the teachers simply smiled and glanced at each other, then down towards the ground. The boy was inquisitive, and it wasn’t done in any type of mean-spirited way. Kids certainly will be kids.

I really enjoyed going with the students when they changed classes to go to Science. Ms. Spake, the science teacher, had a big jar of clean, clear water at the front of the room. As they all walked in, they were all immediately interested in what “experiment” they would be doing today. Ms. Spake passed out a small vial or container to each child with writing on it, telling them not to open it, but to bring it to the front when they were called to. As she read them a story about pollution and its effects on the water supply, each student on cue would come to the front and dump their “chemical” into the large jar of water, while the rest of the class observed the reaction. They also answered questions about whether the water was still drinkable, if you could still swim in it in relative safety, or if it would contaminate surrounding areas. Everyone in the classroom seemed energized in this experiment, and I really liked how everyone was involved. Later in the day, I overheard the kids in the hall still talking about it. On the playground, some boys were even doing their own “experiments”.

On Wednesday I was able to help the students with their journal topics, answering questions, reading over them with the children or giving advice on their writing. One young girl was writing her paper on brown bats in Georgia, and asking me if I knew all of the places that they lived. I saw so much happening in third grade, I found it to be a really eclectic age. Boys were playing football one minute and writing stories and doing art the next. Girls straddle the fence at different times between being interested in fashion and clothing to clowning around, doing research, creating, and finding discoveries. Third grade, from what I have observed, may be a truly perfect age in so many ways.

Week 2 saw an introduction of the topic of natural disasters and volcanoes in the third grade science class. Ms. Spake asked if I would like to read through the topics with the class, as some of the students are still having a difficult time with reading, particularly out loud. The magazine that the children had to look over was a simple, three page student paper with various pictures about interesting subjects. As I read to them, I tried to pause after a few sentences to see if everyone understood what the article was trying to say. I also put in some interesting tidbits that I remember hearing about volcanoes, how the ash goes straight up in the air and makes living anywhere nearby very deadly. Everyone was jumping up, talking about things they had heard about volcanoes on television, especially some of the boys who seemed concentrated on the gruesomeness of the fate of some people caught by the raining lava, which I secretly found kind of cool. It was really a lively discussion, but soon I had to steer them back to what we were doing. The class also read up on giraffes, how much TV kids should be watching per night, and the world’s biggest meatball. I asked them how much spaghetti they thought we might need for a meatball as big as the one pictured in the magazine, which was probably the size of a big desk. Needless to say I got a variety of answers. One boy said, “spaghetti piled as tall as me!” A girl answered, “probably as big a plate as this whole classroom”. It was an enlightening discussion. All of the articles contained their vocabulary words, which I went over while reading each story. One young girl, who always makes sure to stand or sit near me wherever I go, has trouble remembering my name. She asked if she can just call me ‘Mr. Dude’.

Wednesday was a short day for the students, they were leaving at 12:00 noon, but the teachers had parent conferences for the rest of the day. Mrs. Strickland and Ms. Spake let me sit in on several of the conferences, which was extremely interesting. I noticed that the teachers would always say how much they enjoyed the students being in their room to each parent before getting to things that needed to be worked on. Children who were struggling in math had the option to take an after school special session, giving them extra help from 3:30-4:15, which parents were given the option of signing up for. Each conference was scheduled for fifteen minutes. I learned a great deal about many of the students and issues they had been having, about ones who were struggling and others that had improved by leaps and bounds. There were parents on the verge of tears because they didn’t know what to do with a child that had problems in certain subjects, and other parents clearly so proud of their children, some really didn't seem to care either way. Sitting there I kept wishing that I could help all of them, to tell them that anything is possible and that all children can be turned around and saved. When you finally see where a child is coming from, you begin to get a better sense of where they are in the classroom, who they are as a person, and what they one day might become. There’s less sense of just a blurry mass of kids, they become real people. As teachers we can provide them with limitless possibilities.

Book, Books, and More

Always grow, move forward, evolve- your life should become like a wonderful, overstuffed library; by the end (or should I say, beginning), there should be thousands and thousands of books overflowing with the great things that you did in life - helping others, growing, improving, falling back, getting up again, loving, hoping, laughing, crying. Never let it be said that the ones who came after you only found an empty space, with no idea what it was you did here. Have them unable to do anything but sit on the floor and start reading, laughing at all of your great adventures. Leave them with something special.

New Discoveries

It's quite a thing when you finally realize that you're going to live forever. Things take on a whole new meaning, almost like a dimly lit room that has suddenly for the first time been opened up with several windows, allowing sunlight to stream in on places you had either forgotten about or never noticed before. There is also no longer any "easy way out" from yourself- a book that you thought was 3 pages will be read very differently when you discover suddenly that it's a thousand (and that's just volume 1). Every person you meet, every stranger that you pass suddenly becomes a bit more important. As it turns out, they too will live forever. This person you know, or met, or casually talk to, or just pass on the street, may be the greatest of kings or queens in His kingdom- they may also be an unholy horror, full of negative energy that will either get better or worse throughout the Ages. There are no "simple" people anymore- the secret is out, the blinders are off, the curtain has not simply fallen but has disintegrated before my very eyes. We should approach every single soul with utmost seriousness . . . and maybe even a sense of awe.

Forgiven

Forgive often, for the ones who need it the most will be the ones you least want to give it to. The ones that you KNOW did what they did out of evilness or spite or stubbornness- the ones who seem to have a heart of ice and couldn't care less, the ones who smile as they do and say wicked things, the ones who are unloveable and whose hearts seem to overflow with darkness every minute of the day. It's an interesting thing when you take the time to forgive- you actually begin to see other sides to a person that has wronged you: what a terrible life they must lead, what unhappiness and misery they have taken on as their own shield that is slowly killing them, how little they . . . love. We may be surprised at the end of days, when our souls are unwrapped by the great Master, and we are able to see ourselves for what we really are (or have been), how much alike this person we really are. How shocking to see the times when we were evil or stubborn, or had a heart of ice. I'd forgotten the time I smiled when I hurt that person, or how much my own heart at times overflowed with darkness and I really could have cared less. At that moment, more than any other, I will be so thankful to have forgave . . . and been forgiven.

World Without End

We are always growing, always changing, constantly evolving. This is how He wants it. There will never come a time on earth (and probably not in heaven, either) where the work is done and you can sit back and say "it is finished". There may be a time, hundreds of thousands of years from now (as we measure time) where we are still growing and achieving more than we did the day before. This is only a theory, but I suspect it is true (and if it's not, it is of no consequence). Our God is easy to please, but difficult to satisfy, and this likely remains true even after death- possibly more so. When we are finally given the keys to the kingdom, we may just discover that there are many more glorious doors to go through, only without the constraints of time. So many rooms, so much to do. Ever changing and growing in Him, getting better and better, further and further away from where we started, and eons away from where we were just the day before-with no end in sight, only glorious beginnings.

The Lonely Step Child

No other animal besides man feels so trapped by the body and is so willing to go to such extreme measures to escape from the shackels of it. Drug abuse, alcoholism, mysticism, meditation, yoga, horror films, even rollercoasters- all designed to take us out from where we are and place us somewhere else. It seems as if we'll do anything to get to something more than what we are. If I were a tree, and I could think, I somehow doubt it would ever cross my mind that I should fly. Dogs and cats have no need of drugs or paranormal experiences, and a monkey is perfectly happy in the trees and eating bananas. The problem is we are not of this world. We were made for something better, something deeper, something so much . . . grander. We are visitors in a foreign land, having been here so long that we've forgotten that we belong elsewhere. Like a boy raised in poverty but secretly descended from the king, we can't fathom our own fascination with castles and royalty and war- nor can we understand why we are so different from our step brothers and step sisters, who have no need of such things.

Unlimited Returns

We were always told, “Judge not, lest ye be judged, and with the same manner that you judge others, you shall be judged also”. This may have more meaning to our own lives than we could have ever possibly imagined. When we stand in judgment of others, when we criticize, condemn, embarrass, back-bite, or continually knit pick our neighbor, we are subsequently cursing ourselves to the same fate. As human beings (and spirits) we tend to imagine that people are using the same scale to evaluate us as the one we have put in place toward others. It’s similar to the thief who is convinced that everyone around him is surely stealing. If you condemn, you will feel condemned, if you ridicule- you will later feel ridiculed. If you have been two-faced or a gossip about your friends, then it is logical that in your mind others are surely gossiping about you. Whether these things are actually happening to you or not is uncertain, but you will certainly believe that they are. On the other hand, if you hold others with respect, try to help rather than to criticize, see the good in others rather than the bad, forgive rather than judge, you will surely be in a better mind set. You will feel comforted when you might have been neglected, you will feel supported when you might just as well have been ridiculed or scorned. The love you have planted once shall come back to you, possibly with unlimited returns.

Dawn of the Spirits

Watching the third-graders in the classroom today, I was amazed at what an interesting and eclectic age it really is. It may be the closest to being pure "spirits" that humans will ever come to in this life- intelligent, free, playful, creative, open-minded, seemingly lasting forever. I saw boys playing football one minute and writing stories and doing art the next-girls with their own ideas about what it was to "dress up", but still able to be a kid and clown around, drawing, coloring, soaking up knowledge- even researching topics on bats and being mesmerized by everything they found. It came to me sitting there watching them that this short span of time- this third grade year- may be our own prophecy foretold. I may be kidding myself, but there was just the tiniest voice inside me, you know the one- whispering "this very childhood that you see, with all of the wonderful quirks and discoveries and limitless possibilities, so temporary here in this world, will finally be yours in eternity- only better".

Late Beginnings

Oh, the time I could have saved by simply listening to His voice- the wrong turns, the short cuts that took twice as long, the guessing and the second-guessing, years of the worst possible choices that finally led to nowhere. It's something of a shame starting so far behind where you might have been had you only been willing to do it His way. I may not make it as far down the road as I could have years ago, but the important thing is to keep moving. No matter where you begin, He is there on the road beside you.

Cap and Gown

We should not fear death, any more than a child should fear puberty- but we do, and we will. It is the unknown, and the unknown (even if you are a believer) is a frightening thing. Growing up is something all children want to do, but the teenage years can be awkward, scary and "final" feeling. It is almost like a death- the death of childhood, of youth, of perceived innocence - but is also like rebirth. We go through a very strange time and begin to come out the other side an adult- more complex, more mature, more real. The changing time was necessary to get to something else, what we'd always wanted and longed for as children. Perhaps it is better we should see it as the great "graduation", of walking across the field- a ceremony that may be tearfully sad, but one that must take place in order for real life to begin.

The New Symphony

Always remember, none of us are islands- we are all on the same path back to Him. Currently we are in the shadowlands- everything we see are reflections of something else, something more, something grander, something we can't currently put into words. There are notes that can't be played on any piano made in this world- and yet, we still recognize the notes. All of the people around you, particularly the positive ones who want the best for you- friends- are the clearest shadows we have of Him in our lives. They are not the exact notes, but they may come closest to any we have ever heard with human ears. Treasure your friendships, both near and far, for together they make a symphony fit for another world.

A Right Path

If I find myself on a path that is constantly pointing out the sins, the weaknesses, or the failure of others, then I should think that I am on the wrong road and one not traveled by Him. It is a path of judgment, rather than Love. If, however, the path I take makes me begin to see with unholy horror the things I myself do daily without thinking: the sins, the weaknesses and flaws, the failures that need to be corrected- I suspect that I have found the right road at last. Only by seeing my own shortcomings and daily strengthening my own character, can I ever hope to help others- or to love. Let them see the change in you that they then might change also. The Great Surgeon will do the operation, if any must be done at all. None of us are the surgeons, nor are we qualified to make any final diagnosis- we simply don’t have all the facts. We are, however, charged with being the light to lead the way. He will handle all the rest.

Attitude

In everything you do, stay positive- not only will you find yourself suddenly a magnet for positive people, positive energy and inspiration, but something else will begin to happen. Those things that seemed so hopeless and trying in your life will also begin to change. It will happen slowly and gradually- probably even before you begin to notice it. First, there will be a few things you soon discover must be thrown out. Those people, those places, those situations that you have outgrown become painfully obvious and the negative energy they bring to your life begins to show with a clarity never noticed before. In other areas that have been particularly difficult or trying, you may begin to see purpose and a connection that will allow you to make the situation better, rather than simply "going along to get along". Our sight begins to improve, as does our intuition. In the end, it is our attitude that saves us. It is the hidden gift He has given to allow us to open doors we might never have opened, close ones we no longer had any need of, and even see doors to open that we never noticed before. It is our treasure map that may lead us up and out, into a far better life than we'd ever possibly imagined. And to think, after all the searching, we had the map in our midst the whole time.

Simple Surrender

Sometimes we must simply drop the rope, kneel down and believe. The game of tug of war we play with ourselves gets old after a time and there are no answers when our entire life is spent questioning. I spent the longest time (even as a "believer") recently questioning everything, as if I would somehow find an answer with my own limited understanding. It came to me that the more I questioned, the less I seemed to know, kind of like in a multiple choice test where you originally had the right answer but didn't trust it enough, so you kept over analyzing and changing your answers. The time comes when you must lay down your questions as you would lay down your weapons in a battle that could never possibly be won. In this case it turns out that in our loss we are victorious. In finally losing and accepting defeat, we now have the possibility of winning- finally to surrender to simple, unfettered, humble and wonderful belief.