This Old House

The more I begin to try and follow the teachings of Christ, the clearer I witnesswhat an absolute daily horror my inner self truly is- selfish, demanding, attention-getting, boastful, lazy, judgemental, double-minded, prideful, greedy, quick toanger, cowardly, impatient, unkind, suspicious, uncharitable- it seems unbearable to think that I have always been these things (and even continue to be now). I do find in myself an embarrassment at behavior that before would have gone unnoticed. Friends or loved ones ask for my assistance which they most richly deserve, andimmediately I sense the feeling of "MY time is too valuable for this", or "This is just TOO much to ask of me right now. Don't they realize my time is my own?"It is like a man who thought his house was perfectly built and better than most- One day with a flashlight he goes about checking the basement and finds nothingbut rotten wood, leaky pipes, holes in the floorboards, overrunning with rats and roaches, a complete eyesoar that is basically ready to collapse at any minute. How much better he felt before he had seen all this! Of course, now the real work can begin. Some find the problems early and begin to rebuild; others probably discover these things a bit too late to salvage much of it. If we do try our best, no matter how little time may be left, we might manage to get much more done to our homes than we could have ever imagined. Of course, we'll always have help. The one thing we must never do is to shut the flashlight off, climb the stairs to our den, close the door and forget what we saw. Sooner or later we will have to call a Carpenter.