The Waiting Game

We all want to fall in love, but are we willing to wait for the Lord to bring the right person to us? To face what may be years waiting and wondering and relying on Him? I think that most people are too afraid to be alone and end up settling too quickly, compromising and adjusting along the way. Is it any wonder there are so many divorces every year? How many of those who rush down the aisle have truly let God in on their decision? Too often we make ourselves content with a leaky cottage when He has planned for us to live in a mansion. If only we could have waited for it. Just a thought.

Closed Doors Finally Opened

Never worry about closed doors. Those closed doors are God's way of guiding you to the right place, His way of saying "No, not yet . . . not now." He is leading you to something better, something grander than you could have ever dreamed. One day you will drop to your knees and thank Him eternally for all of those closed doors, I promise~

Thousands of Ways

What an interesting thing it is finding yourself in love with someone- a person who is now your best friend, lover, soulmate, confidante, spiritual partner, a virtual blessing sent straight from the heavens- and it all seems so easy. All the things the poets have written about for centuries. My heart literally feels like it has been set free after being covered in dust and neglect for 39 years. I want to help others, I smile more, my prayers and writings are more alive, and I am finally, at long last, not demanding to have this person: I am simply enjoying the fact that they are in my life. I'm sitting on the side of a hill, the wind rushing over my face, and I am in awe. Forgive me for being overly romantic or over the top sometimes- it all just seems so brand new. Sometimes, I have to stop and catch my breath. How could he have ever blessed a person like me so much? But then, He does it every day in a thousand different ways. The only difference is that now, finally, my eyes can see so clearly. Blessings to all~

Forgotten Wishes

Do not worry. Sometimes you must simply accept a blessing as it is and try not to want more for a while. He will give us all that we need in His own time. I'm slowly discovering that the more I turn it over to Him- granting His wishes and enjoying what He has given me- the more I am being prepared for what is coming next. I also am finding that I am no longer robbing my own joy. Maybe He can only help us when we finally place what we most want on the back burner and get on with life. Only then have we turned loose of it enough that He can finally begin working on it. One never knows . . .

Sweet Surrender

Last night I wrestled with God, and I lost. He had been trying to take something from my hands- something I wanted Him to help me with, but I just wouldn't let it go. Well, after fussing, fighting, fuming, shouting to have my own way and clutching tooth and nail at the thing I asked Him to fix, I finally dropped and released it. It's funny how we cling to things out of fear thinking that it will make us have more control over the situation- when in fact we end up having less. I sat down and watched Him take it away, knowing it was now completely out of my hands. Did I make the right decision? Did I have any choice at all? No real answers as of yet. I only know that my dilemma is now in the best of all possible hands. My heart, at least for now, is somewhat at peace. Amy, I love you with all my heart, and I will wait forever for you~

The Final Battle

Some battles you are going to HAVE to let Him fight for you. No matter how much you want to pull the sword and charge in quickly, only He knows the way to truly win the war. And sometimes it involves simply sitting and waiting. There may come a time He needs you out on the battlefield, but it is the wise man who knows when to stand down, and put it in the hands of his betters. For now, the sword must remain in your belt until the appointed time. But oh, sometimes the waiting time seems so long~

Love

This may be premature in saying this, but don't really care anymore. I know that I have met the woman I am going to marry. I know it surer than I've ever known anything in my life. Now I am just faithfully waiting on God's timing for a job in TN, but no matter what happens, there will never be anyone else in the world for me. This is the truth, and I have no fear at all. I appreciate all of your prayers, and I know my timing is not His, but all things work out to His good in the end. The search, at least for me, is finally over. I love you all~

New Roads

Sometimes it is amazing the places God will take us if we will allow Him to. In my late 20s, I was basically a different person. I look back and see someone wandering through life wasting time, spinning wheels, avoiding all entanglements, commitments, and even though I called myself a Christian, I was hardly living like one. The one aspect I can see now is that I really didn’t like myself very much. It came out in the way I treated others, the way I avoided family functions, went my own way, and the way I treated myself. Looking back now, it seems like snapshots of someone else, of a person I don’t even know and barely remember. After my father died, the rug was finally and completely yanked out from under me of where I was and had been going for about 12 years. There was a long look in the mirror and I did NOT like what I saw. I had basically been painting myself into a corner, into a life I really didn’t like, but had no idea how to change or get out of. The person I was dating at the time was a good friend, and someone I still consider to be to this day, but there were now so many differences that I could no longer ignore them. Things that I said didn’t bother me at all when I was 30, but started to more and more as I changed and grew into the man God was making me into. The changes that came after I finally went back to school to actually finish were amazing. God began to work in my life in a very big way. I began to pray for a wife and a family, of things I never dreamed that I would ever need or want. Because of my age, I really had no idea if any of this would come to pass, but I prayed daily for a way that it could happen. Eventually, I stopped asking and just placed it all in His hands. I knew in my heart, without a doubt, that I was NOT meant to be a confirmed bachelor the rest of my life. I had no desire to go that road, unless He absolutely wanted me to. I felt like I just had too much to give another person than to live that way. What I found later was that He never wanted that for me at all, He was only waiting on me to stop the crazy drive I’d been on and give it over completely to Him. Before I knew it, all the relationships in my life began to improve, I began to care about family again, I was coming out of my shell, my sense of humor was finally returning. Now I find that I no longer need to write like a “Christian Author”- lofty and untouchable sayings that are like coded messages. I can write like Jeff Russell and it's enough. It’s time for plain talk. I apologize for all the wasted years, of not being myself, of the time that was lost. What I know now is that it is never too late to begin again. He is in control, and is finally writing the story of my life that was meant to be written. The wandering is finished, I have returned to the road left so long ago. This is probably the most personal thing I’ve ever written, and it almost wasn't written at all. Baring one's soul can be a little scary. Of course, He would have it no other way. Thanks for reading. I love all of you- more now than I ever could have before, believe me. I'm on to the Great Adventure.

Hearts

It's an amazing thing- and an amazing gift, to finally find someone who makes the years of waiting and wondering worthwhile. The once comfortable and quiet life you thought you enjoyed is slowly coming to an end. He had better plans all along, I just never knew they were right under my own nose. It's exciting- and a bit scary- to watch the glass wall be shattered into a million pieces before my very eyes. Hearts put away on a shelf, collecting dust- now suddenly
made new again. How could He do it? The best things are always those we never would have guessed or asked for. I was content for a cottage, I asked for a home, but He would have none of that. There was a mansion waiting just in the wings. One never knows what that Great Author has planned. I only know that it is a million times better than anything I could have come up with on my own. And so it goes~

The Waiting Room

Why is it so terrifying to totally turn something you want over to God? Do we think that we can work it out better than Him? There is the sense of sadness, wondering if He will grant that most sacred of wishes and the inevitable questions: Has he forgotten? What should I be doing now? What if it all falls apart? For now, I am in the waiting room. There is absolutely no doubt in my heart or in my mind where I want to be or who I want to be with- but it is out of my hands. Is there a more frightening test of faith than this? That something that has become my whole world might be tossed aside at any minute? The voice comes back, though- sure and steady- the one I always recognize. "Wait. Peace and Be Still. All in My time." At this point, His waiting room is actually the safest of all places. Our fate is in the best of all possible hands.

Have No Fear

Never make any decision based on fear. I think you'll find if you look back, that all the choices made out of fear probably left you disappointed and full of regret. It guarantees you a wrong turn almost every time. Sometimes the risk is worth it, even if it means stepping out on blind faith. If we should fail, or be hurt, at least we know that we stayed true to ourselves. One never knows~

Love

Falling in love is an interesting time. What can one say about something that causes you to suddenly go without sleep, not want to eat, think incessantly about the beloved with eyes of a teenager? The only problem is the thought that it could be taken away at any minute. To go from a quiet, dull life where there is nothing to lose to one where you may risk your whole heart collapsing into a million pieces. Suddenly my fate is in His hands- and it is terrifying. Only time will tell. And I wouldn't trade this time for all the money in the world.

Closed Doors

The only thing worse than a closed door is a closed window. A door you might walk away from unscathed, never knowing the opportunity just missed behind it. But it is an interminable punishment to have a window closed and bolted from you- where all the things you missed are right before your very eyes- completely unreachable. This is, in truth, the worst of all rejections He can possibly give.

Timesteps

Never get so bogged down with that "wrong turn" you took so many years ago that it keeps you from seeing the right turn today. At the end of days, when time becomes a thing of the past and all the calendars are meaningless- He may allow you to go back and fix all the things that troubled your heart in the dead of night: all those things you'd never tell a soul or admit to. Time will be ours to do with what we please. Of course, by then our heart's greatest desire shall be to do is His will. We may have some faint memory of something we wanted to do or say or speak- but our hearts will already be satisfied.

Waiting and Faith

You will never know how incredibly difficult faith is- and how utterly helpless the feeling- until you decide to put something completely in His hands. To finally let go and agree to let God handle it, knowing you have done all that you can do in the matter. There is no point in going back and checking on it once you have handed it over to Him. The letter is not just sealed, but mailed and unreachable. You may drop to your knees and pray for the faith to trust Him, but it belongs to Him now. The only thing that can be done is to wait. Each minute thereafter, when the temptation is to run back and take it from Him, or even to shout in the darkness "Father, how long?" - you must simply close your eyes and whisper, "Thy will be done." These may be the most difficult words of all.

Winged Eagles

Make no mistake, those chains which supposedly bind us are nothing more than illusions, shadow boxes made of cheap tin, a spell cast on us eons ago by the enemy. The only known antidote is faith. Where fear resides, love grows weak. Until we let go of our fears and turn them over once and for all to the Lord GOD, we will be like strong and powerful eagles who just never trusted our wings enough to fly.

03/13/11

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5-7

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4


I can think of no other verses that better sum up the way to live, and put all our trust in Him.

The Missing Key

Make no mistake, God can open doors for you. The highest wall can be scaled, rivers will be parted, lost loves made new again- nothing is impossible for those who have faith in Him. Those doors you have longed tried to enter-bolted and double bolted from the inside- will fade away like autumn leaves blown into the forewinds. With Him, all things are possible.

Stardust

We may very well be remembered not for the big moments that shine brightest, but for a number of the small, seemingly insignificant things done along the way during the course of a life. The times when we did our best, even though no one was watching- long since forgotten and put out of our memories. Lives touched but unknown, scattered like the light of stars that burn on for centuries. One never knows . . .

Vivaldi's Four Seasons
"Winter"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxYpM8dpPVI&feature=relatedtp://

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Put what you truly want on the back burner- never stop asking God for it, but at some point you must simply leave it in His hands and move on. The man who truly wants to get some rest will never get it as long as he is preoccupied with falling asleep. He first must think of other things, maybe read a book, or just relax. Eventually, the sleep he needs will find him. Sometimes we get what we want most when we at last stop looking for it.

All the World's a Stage

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women are merely the players; They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts . . ." (William Shakespeare). The thing to remember is that while we are playing our part onstage, so engrossed in the current scene we are in, there is a whole world busily going on backstage. Things we have no idea about- important things that our character could only see in dreams. This is what I might call "real life", where the Great Director busily works. One day we shall make our exit, stage left. Only then will real life truly begin.

Old Wounds and Battle Scars

Just when you think you are over something, that you've gotten beyond it and moved on, the pain can rush back in without warning. Like a crack in the wall you thought you had fixed long ago, suddenly a huge tear and the entire thing collapses like a house of cards. Who knows what set it off? It might have been anything. One minute showering or shaving, the next your heart is breaking like a new wound- as if it were that same day all over again- even after several years. The old questions I should already know the answers to flood in, suddenly forgotten- "will I ever see him again? Is this life just a one act play on the stage, spent watching those we love
take their exits as we look on and keep performing?" The play must go on, and I know there is a plan, but some days the faith is so very weak. A thousand desires never expressed, never fulfilled- sometimes just too much for my soul to bear. Who on earth can ever fathom the many secret hallways of the human heart . . .

The Dream

You can be anything that you want to be- anything imagined, all that you have ever dreamed of within the light of your spirit. Nothing can stop you . . . just believe. In this case, the only enemy to be overcome may, in fact, be ourselves.

Filling Time

"God never closes one door without opening another." If you feel empty, if you have lost something valuable, if it seems you are stuck in a waiting room- take heart. Nothing can be filled until it is first emptied. The Lord may be removing things from your life in order to make room for something better- His ultimate blessing. Sometimes He must tear down your quaint little cottage in order to build you a mansion.

Burdens and Victories

God will allow you the occasional journey into terrifying forests, moments of despair that seem completely hopeless, and visits to places you'd really rather not go. But this is only to show you how spectacular it is after you've gotten beyond it. Only those who have experienced the horrors of the battlefield can truly appreciate the taste of the victory dinner later on. He will not deprive you of your rightful place at the great stone table. Those small burdens here shall one day become magnificent triumphs in His World.

No Fear

Often, the only thing that seperates us from getting that which we really want is fear. It is the large wall that must be scaled, the barbed-fence that must be climbed, the chain to be broken through at all costs. The wondrous thing is that when you finally face it, when you actually begin to climb the wall of fear, you'll find it wasn't nearly as high or big or as treacherous as you had imagined. Those chains that bound you turn out to be, in the end, mere ribbons. We have given them so much more credit than they ever actually deserved.

The Final Chapter

We must never assume God is malicious. Even when He tells us "no" to something we have asked for, remember that there is something else far better waiting for those who trust Him. Other chapters, better than we could have possibly imagined, are being written at this very minute. Even as our heads are hung low and we are feeling defeated, remember that the plans He has for us are steadily being knitted together for just the appointed time. The Great Author's final chapter for our lives will be so much better if we will simply put down the pen and at last let Him write it. And the final chapter is only the beginning.

The Great Adoption

Whenever I am tempted to sin, I remember that I was bought for a price. My life is no longer my own, I am not a free agent to do whatever I please anymore. You see, we are not "naturally" sons and daughters of God. We are currently stepchildren, adopted and plucked from our sinful lives by Him whose name is too wonderful for words. When you are accepted into a family, in this case the Family of God, you must abide by the rules of the House. Take heart, we will not always be stepchildren. Through the miracle and majesty of the Lord, one day we will be natural sons and daughters of God- but this will not happen for a while yet. That will be in another story, in a far greater land than we are living in now- one in which each chapter is better than the last, and the enemy called Time is finally put away in its cell forever.