Just when you think you are over something, that you've gotten beyond it and moved on, the pain can rush back in without warning. Like a crack in the wall you thought you had fixed long ago, suddenly a huge tear and the entire thing collapses like a house of cards. Who knows what set it off? It might have been anything. One minute showering or shaving, the next your heart is breaking like a new wound- as if it were that same day all over again- even after several years. The old questions I should already know the answers to flood in, suddenly forgotten- "will I ever see him again? Is this life just a one act play on the stage, spent watching those we love
take their exits as we look on and keep performing?" The play must go on, and I know there is a plan, but some days the faith is so very weak. A thousand desires never expressed, never fulfilled- sometimes just too much for my soul to bear. Who on earth can ever fathom the many secret hallways of the human heart . . .
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