Hearts

It's an amazing thing- and an amazing gift, to finally find someone who makes the years of waiting and wondering worthwhile. The once comfortable and quiet life you thought you enjoyed is slowly coming to an end. He had better plans all along, I just never knew they were right under my own nose. It's exciting- and a bit scary- to watch the glass wall be shattered into a million pieces before my very eyes. Hearts put away on a shelf, collecting dust- now suddenly
made new again. How could He do it? The best things are always those we never would have guessed or asked for. I was content for a cottage, I asked for a home, but He would have none of that. There was a mansion waiting just in the wings. One never knows what that Great Author has planned. I only know that it is a million times better than anything I could have come up with on my own. And so it goes~

The Waiting Room

Why is it so terrifying to totally turn something you want over to God? Do we think that we can work it out better than Him? There is the sense of sadness, wondering if He will grant that most sacred of wishes and the inevitable questions: Has he forgotten? What should I be doing now? What if it all falls apart? For now, I am in the waiting room. There is absolutely no doubt in my heart or in my mind where I want to be or who I want to be with- but it is out of my hands. Is there a more frightening test of faith than this? That something that has become my whole world might be tossed aside at any minute? The voice comes back, though- sure and steady- the one I always recognize. "Wait. Peace and Be Still. All in My time." At this point, His waiting room is actually the safest of all places. Our fate is in the best of all possible hands.

Have No Fear

Never make any decision based on fear. I think you'll find if you look back, that all the choices made out of fear probably left you disappointed and full of regret. It guarantees you a wrong turn almost every time. Sometimes the risk is worth it, even if it means stepping out on blind faith. If we should fail, or be hurt, at least we know that we stayed true to ourselves. One never knows~

Love

Falling in love is an interesting time. What can one say about something that causes you to suddenly go without sleep, not want to eat, think incessantly about the beloved with eyes of a teenager? The only problem is the thought that it could be taken away at any minute. To go from a quiet, dull life where there is nothing to lose to one where you may risk your whole heart collapsing into a million pieces. Suddenly my fate is in His hands- and it is terrifying. Only time will tell. And I wouldn't trade this time for all the money in the world.

Closed Doors

The only thing worse than a closed door is a closed window. A door you might walk away from unscathed, never knowing the opportunity just missed behind it. But it is an interminable punishment to have a window closed and bolted from you- where all the things you missed are right before your very eyes- completely unreachable. This is, in truth, the worst of all rejections He can possibly give.

Timesteps

Never get so bogged down with that "wrong turn" you took so many years ago that it keeps you from seeing the right turn today. At the end of days, when time becomes a thing of the past and all the calendars are meaningless- He may allow you to go back and fix all the things that troubled your heart in the dead of night: all those things you'd never tell a soul or admit to. Time will be ours to do with what we please. Of course, by then our heart's greatest desire shall be to do is His will. We may have some faint memory of something we wanted to do or say or speak- but our hearts will already be satisfied.

Waiting and Faith

You will never know how incredibly difficult faith is- and how utterly helpless the feeling- until you decide to put something completely in His hands. To finally let go and agree to let God handle it, knowing you have done all that you can do in the matter. There is no point in going back and checking on it once you have handed it over to Him. The letter is not just sealed, but mailed and unreachable. You may drop to your knees and pray for the faith to trust Him, but it belongs to Him now. The only thing that can be done is to wait. Each minute thereafter, when the temptation is to run back and take it from Him, or even to shout in the darkness "Father, how long?" - you must simply close your eyes and whisper, "Thy will be done." These may be the most difficult words of all.