Give Your Heart Away

Knowing how short this life is, knowing how much is surely to be taken away from our lives, how can we not want to give all we have away? It's always better to give too much than too little, especially giving of yourself. In the end, will it really bother us very much if someone took a little too much from us or we spent too much of "our time" helping others, even if we got little in return? My God, surely no matter how much we give there will probably still be more we could have done, more of our self we could have shared with our friends, more of our heart we could have worn on our sleeve- even risking it being broken at any moment. Better to have a broken heart and spirit because you gave too much, better to have given all you have away in love and be poor than to have a good, solid, untouched, like-new heart that never lived or risked or gave. Every crack, every blemish in our spirit shows that once, we cared more about something else and less for ourselves. Once, it was really worth the risk.

Friends Throughout the Ages

Treasure all friendships, the new and the old ones, for in them we may be catching a glimpse of eternity. There is something magical in finding someone with whom you share particular interests, who you can stop and say, "Really? Me too. I thought I was the only one." Who knows how long these fellow travelers called 'friends' will be by our side. We may end up fighting shoulder to shoulder with them in battle at the end of time, or they may simply be near us at the great Stone Table, talking and laughing of things remembered near a roaring fire. We may also have known them before, but that is another matter entirely. The one thing we can never say is that true friendships are a slight, unimportant thing. They may, in fact, be His eternal gift throughout the ages.

Moments of Loss

How does one possibly get over death? The loss of not just a loved one, but in a way a part of yourself? The heart has many layers and hallways, and no single loss will destroy it. But my God, there are moments He allows you to see the whole thing for what it is (as much as we can bear), and it is in those moments more than any other that their silence becomes deafening.

Pockets of Time

Though it surely seems that Time is now the enemy, and there is less and less of it each day, I am finding something else strange to be true: the more time I set aside in silence and prayer with Him (even 5 minutes a few times throughout the day), the more that I am finding I actually have more time. It may be that there are pockets of time interwoven in our own 24 hour period, such that the more time we give to Him the more He is able to give to us. Though it appears to come from nowhere, it is there just the same- much like the loaves and fishes so long ago.

Road to True Joy

Wherever you are, whatever the situation is, don't ever feel like you've gone as far as you can go. He means to take you to far better lands than where you are right now. Remember that a journey to a new life begins with a step . . . then another step, and another. Even if you have given up on yourself, take heart- He has not given up on you. Trust in Him completely, and He will lead you to the Right Path: a life of purpose, hope, promise and love- overflowing with true joy.

Enemy of Time

One of the great curses, besides death, is surely Time. Moments with friends, good times, things you wish would go on and last forever seem to end far too soon. There's nothing like a great conversation to make the dreaded hands on the wall clock move that much faster along. As time continues to speed up, and I have no doubt that it is, my only hope is that one day we will at last be outside of it looking in. Finally freed from time's prison, we can occasionally glance in through the school window like students out for the summer, marveling at our newfound freedom.

Sweaters on the Playground

C.S. Lewis once said, "You don't have a soul- you are a soul. You have a body." When the time has come for this old set of clothes called a body to fall away, don't be disillusioned. That torn gray sweater was never me, you just got use to seeing me in it. All the jackets and sweaters are on the edge of the playground for a reason: we simply outgrew them. There was more important things to do, swings to play on, running and jumping with the Lord, spiritual things. We won't be coming back for those old clothes, either. There is no need to. The Great Recess that never ends has finally begun.

Science Lesson Reflection

I taught both of my Science lessons this week in Ms. Spake’s class. They proved to be great learning experiences, as all moments in the classroom have been so far, but they were also fun. Both lessons were on heat, and I found it interesting how much the children already knew about the subject. Many knew what conductors as well as insulators were, several remembered why metal got hot faster than wood, and a few mentioned why using a pot holder on a boiling metal pot on the stove was a good idea. In my first lesson, the class divided into groups and tried to guess which spoon would get the warmest in a cup of hot water- the metal, plastic, or wooden spoon. My original idea was to demonstrate the experiment at the front of the classroom and have them write about it in journals, maybe even including a prediction about what they thought would happen. After pondering it over a while, however, I decided that a hands-on approach would be far more beneficial and memorable. Rather than telling or showing them, the students could find out for themselves. While many felt the metal spoon would get hot fastest, not everyone agreed. One boy knew from experience that “wood burns in a fire, so it must get really hot”, while another girl had remembered burning her arm on a plastic car seat one time, so plastic was bound to get the hottest. Obviously with a hands on activity like this one, the students were going to be somewhat excited and rambunctious. In spite of this, I really didn’t notice the children getting off task at all during the lesson. Each group member was busy participating, arguing with each other about the anticipated result, even discussing past experiences that seemed relevant to the science activity.

My second science lesson was taught in the school’s science lab on Friday, which was a nice change of pace. It was clean and open, with enough group tables for students to adequately work together rather than having to move around in desks in a cramped classroom. In this lesson, each group had to find a way to keep their ice cube from melting, using one material of their choosing. I brought in newspaper, felt, aluminum foil, paper towels, and Styrofoam cups for them to choose from. All the groups first had to discuss and choose which material to use, and write down why they chose what they did. Listening to them plan and decide together was fascinating. Some thought for sure that the felt would be too hot and would definitely melt the cube, while others rationed that newspaper would work, but only if it was wrapped and taped up securely. Interestingly, a few girls in one group thought that fanning or blowing on the ice cube would keep it “cool” and thus stop it from melting. A group of boys chose the Styrofoam cup and filled it with water, thinking that the water would sustain the cube and keep it cool, not realizing that the exact opposite was true. When their cube was almost gone after only 7 minutes, one of the boys sighed and told me, “I guess we chose wrong, Mr. Russell. Oh, well. At least we learned something . . . and we had fun.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

To See or Not to See

Miracles will not cease to exist simply because we stop believing in them. It is possible to keep them out of our own lives by no longer choosing to see them, just as we can keep the sunlight out of our homes by pulling shades down and boarding up the windows. It will no longer trouble us if we stay in darkened shadows, but it will never keep the sun itself from shining.

Classroom Reflections 03/08- 03/12

Week 6

I taught my first Social Studies lesson on Monday in Mrs. Strickland’s class. This seemed to be going well, but I hadn’t planned for them only being there for thirty minutes before leaving to go to camp (P.E.), so I actually wasn’t able to finish it. She said that this was fine, however, because they would still be studying parts of Greece next week and it would be good to have an activity to have them do as a refresher. I’m feeling a bit more confident and consistent with the students, and find this time in the classroom to be extremely enlightening and productive. It’s amazing how quickly you get attached to students, learning more and more names, seeing particular weaknesses and strengths in different ones, and generally adapting to the “character” of each classroom. It's week 6 already. If only there was more time.

One very bright boy, who can also be quite disruptive if he is bored, has decided that he would like to go into the Marines when he gets out of school. He has began writing stories of his future “adventures”, and on Wednesday I had the distinct pleasure of reading a page of one of these dreams-placed-to-print. He had included conversations, all included in quotes, between himself and his marine leaders, involving him continually responding “Yes sir!” and to something else, again “Yes sir!”, until the unit leader shouts, “Stop saying that!”, to which the boy replies in his narrative: “Yes . . . I mean, I see what you mean sir!” It was humorous and enormously creative, and I found myself secretly praying that he would never lose his joy of writing, that it would not be worn out or eroded by life and time. Of course, one never knows. Time has a way of bringing us back to things even long after we’ve discarded them, so there’s always hope.

During their snack break one afternoon, I asked if they would like to hear a few funny poems from a book that I had. It was Shel Silverstein’s book Where the Sidewalk Ends , and there were several humorous selections that they found entertaining. Though it wasn’t part of any particular lesson, one girl remembered that this was the same author who’d written The Giving Tree, and pointed out the similarities in the pictures of both books. They asked if I could find more of his books to bring in, and I said that I would definitely try if there was time. Time is, of course, both inside and outside the classroom, the final enemy.

Context Clues

If life leaves you a little bewildered, even disappointed at times, take heart- this is as it should be. We were made for far, far better lands than these. Imagine wanting to read Shakespeare, but only having preschool stories to look at. It is the same here. If heaven were not true, why would it ever even enter our minds to think of something better than this life? The very fact that we question may be our eternal answer.

The Stranger Among Us

If Christianity is real and true, then our religion should reflect it. We should go in with a real heart for change, believing in spirits, demons, evil, profound goodness and forgivesness, knowledge that we have bodies but that we are spirits . . . in short, it's all or nothing. If it becomes merely a weekly ritual, full or habits we don't understand or merely tradition with very little meaning, then we have lost. It will have no more importance than the tradition of taking your hat off when you enter a house, or getting off of work for President's Day. May we never get to the point in our worship when a knock to our church door by the Lord is greeted with irritated sighs. "We were having such a nice meeting and service, what's He doing here?"

Daily Dangers

Some have Christ in their heart without even knowing it yet, people who may, in fact, not even believe. Others who profess to know Him, and follow every letter of the Law, may in the end be found to be strangers at the gates. We must check ourselves with humility constantly.

Friends or Enemies

Love your enemies, and pray for them, for the one who is your enemy today may be your greatest ally on down the road tomorrow. Keep in mind that the path we tread is a very long one, and often the people who we think are the closest to us and would never leave our side will turn out to be terrible adversaries, while those who may have done us wrong in the past will repent somewhere far down the road, being turned into soldiers with far better hearts than we could have possibly imagined. They may even become closer friends than the ones we'd put so much trust in. Just remember that much of what we see and feel here is so temporary, for our book has many, many chapters. Eternity is, indeed, a very long time . . .

As A Man Believeth

Once you begin to believe that all things are possible, something amazing starts to happen: it slowly begins to come true. The prison door, seemingly forever locked, is opened not from the outside but from within.

Internal Road Signs

Too often I think we avoid at all costs moments of feeling down, or empty, or low, when in fact these are things He needs for us to experience at times. The body occasionally must be allowed to be sick and work through it to finally be well without antibiotics, or we risk having weak immune systems. It is the same here. Perhaps we are down because we have something in our life we need to change, or somewhere we need to move, or even because we are simply not where He wants us to be. Few get depressed for no reason at all, and I think too often we want to sweep these negative feelings under the rug quickly, place them in a closet out of sight, and find something . . . anything to fill us back up again. What if He means for us to be miserable, even for a moment? What if that is the only way possible that we will ever change- the only method to push us toward a better road? It may not be quite as far fetched as you may think. Some people have extremely strong intuition, and can even "sense" when something bad is going to happen to themselves or a loved one. Perhaps, at times, this dreadful, empty feeling is our own God-given intuition that all is not right- that we must change something to make ourselves better. He may have woven into our souls an internal warning light, as powerful as the impulse to pull our hand away from a hot stove or fire or pain. What we see as hopelessness, may just be a stop sign. The road you were on is at an end, and He means for you to turn and go another route. It may be when we feel the most lost that we are the closest to Him and what He wants for us. Just keep listening . . .

03/7

"To resist crying may be a manly, mature, most upstanding thing. To no longer be able to ever be moved to tears, however, may be one of the worst things."

The Hesitant Stone

Pray for perfection, not perfection as the world sees it, but as He sees it. But be warned, if you pray for Him to make you perfect, He will do just that. It's an operation that may be uncomfortable, intrusive, time consuming, possibly even painful. The formless lump of stone that begs a sculptor to make him into a statue may have no idea just what is coming. The stone may have in its mind that it will be a quick, magical transformation to a beautiful work of art- but this rarely happens in the natural world. There will be sanding down in some areas, lopping off corners in others, some large parts will have to come off entirely. At times it will seem like the stone is not being sculpted, but destroyed. The poor stone, trusting his fate to this great sculptor, may decide that it's just not worth it. It's so much better being a simple, ordinary, mediocre- safe- stone. If we want to be perfect, we must stand still, even when it seems He is doing terrible things, and just trust. Many will walk away, half finished, deciding that it is far better to be ordinary people than to go through all of this. Take heart, He means to make us more than statues. One day, these perfect stone forms will come to life.

The Eternal Trip Home

If there is nothing beyond this life, if all that exists is here and now, then what we have experienced in this moment of time is nothing more than a temporary dream, shadows and fog that will not be remembered. It will be as the shooting star, bright for a moment, but in the end, useless and forgotten. But if, as I suspect, this is the preamble to another life entirely- then my God, what sights we shall ultimately see! The whispers are everywhere, hints at things to come, things never seen nor imagined by human eyes- light brighter than any ever glimpsed here, reunions of spirits, places at the stone table, a roaring fire in the fireplace, good conversation lasting not for hours, but centuries. Things that seemed so difficult and trying are now the topic of almost fond rememberances, everyone almost talking over each other because there is so much to say, and no constraints of the enemy of Time. Knowing all this is before us, shall we still cling to this life in the end?

Week 5 Reflection in the Classroom

My lesson on the Shel Silverstein book The Giving Tree went very well on Monday. There were things that I saw could be changed, but overall I found the reactions of the students to be very knowledgeable and receptive. I’m finding myself slowly getting use to the routine throughout the day. At first, the kids changing classes was like mass confusion: one group of kids replacing another, many were leaving to go to special classes and coming back in during lessons, and I wasn’t sure who it would be best to stay with or go with to observe. Lately, however, I’m finding that I am getting acquainted with both sets of classes and they are also getting very use to seeing me. So many who would never before ask for help are now calling me over to look at their work, to listen to them read, or just to talk to me and tell me what is going on in their day. You definitely get attached to kids fast, I can see that teaching is a rewarding career path, but can also see how it could just as easily be a heartbreaking one.
On Wednesday, the classes were beginning their unit on Dr. Seuss. I read them the book “Better Butter Side Up”, which I had never read before introducing it to the children. In a way, we discovered it together, which made it a more novel experience. It tells the story of two sets of people constantly fighting with each other and building a huge wall to separate them from each other. They each keep building bigger and better machines to fight with, until they each end up at a standoff with a single, small bomb- but who will drop it first? The students seemed to really enjoy it, but were perplexed by the ending. There were no neat “wrap-ups”, no clear answers or “happily-ever-after” moments, just a kind of “wait . . . wait and see”. I explained to them that stories do not always end the way we think they will or should, but that sometimes it is better for them to keep us thinking. These can even be the best kinds of stories. This way we can use our imaginations to think about, or predict, what happened to the people in the story. A few of them shrugged their shoulders and went back to their desk, while one boy thought a moment and nodded in agreement. He quickly moved back to his desk and continued on being a young boy, but I suspect he had grown a little just from thinking it over. One girl, as she walked by me, asked to look at the book for a while. Taking it to her desk, she said that she would figure out how it really ends and maybe write about it. With that, I decided that we would all have to wait . . . simply wait and see. The ending may in fact be the very best part.

Seeing the Fruit

How you treat others is in direct proportion to your love for Him. There is no way around it. We are not just here to "put up with" other human beings until we get to heaven. Relationships are essential. People should always be our top priority- serving others, building them up, providing opportunities, reaching and connecting constantly, every day. The man who says that he loves boating with all his heart but hates going anywhere near the water doesn't know what he is talking about. Better he should brave the sea, forgetting for a while all about being a "good boater", and learn to love all that is around him. Later, when he has done all this, he will not have to tell anyone that he is a boat lover. They will see it without him even saying a word. The same is true for us. If I never told anyone that I was a Christian, or loved God, may they always see it in me, even if I never spoke a word about it to them.

The Big Move, Part 1

He means for us to empty our lives of the useless clutter from the past. It's as if our souls are like a hugh moving truck, overpacked with decaying furniture, bad out-of-date paintings and dusty, broken tables and chairs. As much as He wants to fill us with new and better things, it is impossible until we manage to unload all of those items we have held on to for so long. We have kept so many things that are no longer necessary, that we have outgrown, some things we've even forgotten that we had packed in our soul- sadnesses from childhood, pains, failures- all negative energy we no longer need. The day has come. It is time to begin unpacking, getting rid of all these things once and for all. He wants our large trucks empty, so that He may fill them completely with the new, pure, clean, hopeful, positive things He has in store for us. Then, once filled to overflowing with the right things, we will be set on the day when our trucks pull off for the Big Move. We will be on our way to the Mansion.

Longings Fulfilled

Some day we will find our way back to those moments we long for: those times we look back on and nearly have to catch our breath, the times of joy when things lined up so perfectly, times that seemed like they would last forever. Take heart, one day we will not just be able to have these moments again, but find that which is far more real than any of our treasured experiences. The longing we have felt, and never quite been able to fully satisfy here, will be quenched at last. We have admired the light of stars from the ground for so long, it may go unnoticed how much more we really want from them. Finally to be a part of it, to bathe in it, filled with it, overflowing with utter joy. Longings found, we discover that what our soul has whispered to us all of our lives wasn't just wishes or pipe dreams- but prophecy.